This post has been migrated from our original Medium page and was first published on 09/10/19.

Welcome back to the fourth installment of the all-new weekly What Just Happened?!, a semi-comical weekly digest of the most important news from the UK, US and the World from myself, Will Marshall, and Alistair Simmonds-Yoo. Look out for us every Wednesday, and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

The UK:

Somehow Boris has shat the bed once again. I could follow that sentence with almost any news story from this week. The Government’s idea of a fresh Brexit deal to remove the backstop was to introduce a system of, not one, but two borders, whereby Northern Ireland would not be in the European customs union, but would share standards. It has been cheerily derided by the European Union, and after a call on Tuesday between Merkel and Johnson a number 10 insider proclaimed a deal is now “essentially impossible”(On a personal note, I am for the first time concerned that Brexit could actually happen, by accident, and am researching setting up a company in Ireland so I may still be able to import… all good fun and games. WM)

Meanwhile the Arcuri scandal rumbles on. The alleged tech-entrepreneur, who doesn’t seem to have any technological knowledge has failed to deny she had an affair with the then Mayor of London, whilst it has emerged that none of their meetings were included in Boris’ diaries.

NB: this digest was never intended as a weekly character assassination of Boris, however, he has, without fail, done something shitty on a daily basis since we started!

The Green Party has promised to abolish the Home Office this week, and replace it with the ‘Ministry for Sanctuary’. As attractive as the idea sounds, it’s hard to imagine it being any more than a rebranding exercise. Needn’t worry though as the chances of a Green Party led government in the near future seem slim!

The National Trust’s annual State of Nature report highlights the ever present need to stop shitting on the natural world from ever growing heights. Of the precious scarce wildlife remaining in the UK, 15% of species are at threat of extinction. Including this majestic creature and also this thing.


The supreme leader of the Facebook-Panopticon responds to a casual reminder that government might have a righteous interest in breaking the firm up. Preventing a single for-profit company from operating a global digital currency and serving billions of people news all while owning their conversations and toilet-selfies, seems like a sensible trajectory. Though it’s a charge which has been levied before, one which Big Tech routinely and shadily evades.

It’s certainly possible that young master Zuckerberg spent his high-school days attempting to litigate his peers rather than engage in competitive wrestling or any other physical activity… it’s also certainly possible that he believed and continues to believe that when anyone talks about throwing down they are in fact talking about engaging in litigation in one way or another.

U.S. in relation to the World:

So long and thanks for all the invaluable help in fighting unspeakably gnarly ethno-religious-militantism… says the U.S. to the Kurds. There is hardly a dim light of humour to cast on this story, the Kurds are a Nation without geographical autonomy and a politically-savaged Erdogen has every motive to accelerate Turkey’s ethno-war against them in order to motivate increasingly authoritarian power.

For a little giggle, watch the president of Finland bat away Trumps hand on his knee… (I wonder with trepidation how many women have done the same…)

Thanks for reading! We’ll be back next week, get in touch with the authors Will Marshall and Alistair Simmonds on Twitter and let us know what you did and didn’t like.